Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives by Gretchen Rubin

Summary

'Better Than Before' by Gretchen Rubin is a practical guide to understanding and reshaping habits to improve everyday life. Rubin explores why certain habits stick while others fade, introducing her framework of Four Tendencies for tailoring habit strategies to personality types. The book combines scientific research with anecdotal evidence, making habit change accessible and customizable. Through clear strategies, Rubin empowers readers to harness self-knowledge for lasting behavioral change.

Life-Changing Lessons

1. Self-awareness is key: Understanding your unique personality—especially which of the Four Tendencies you fit (Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, Rebel)—is crucial for choosing the right approach to habit formation.

2. Small changes compound: Lasting change often stems from stacking small, sustainable habits instead of attempting dramatic overhauls.

3. Outer accountability matters: For many, especially Obligers, involving others or using external checks increases the likelihood of habit success.

Publishing year and rating

The book was published in: 2015

AI Rating (from 0 to 100): 86

Practical Examples

1. The Four Tendencies Framework

   Rubin introduces the Four Tendencies—Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, and Rebel—as the foundation for understanding how people respond to expectations. Identifying your tendency helps you create strategies tailored to your natural inclinations. For example, Obligers benefit from external accountability, while Rebels need choice and autonomy.

2. The Strategy of Monitoring

   Tracking your behaviors helps reveal patterns and keeps you honest about your habits. Rubin discusses ways to monitor progress—such as food diaries or exercise logs—that can increase awareness and motivation. Monitoring works best when it's easy, consistent, and non-judgmental.

3. The Strategy of Scheduling

   Scheduling a habit means allocating time for it, turning intention into action. For habits like exercising or reading, putting them on the calendar makes follow-through more likely. Rubin emphasizes consistency over perfection: it's about showing up, not necessarily excelling every time.

4. The Power of Convenience

   Making habits more convenient—or obstacles more inconvenient—can nudge behavior in the desired direction. Rubin shares how preparing gym clothes the night before or placing healthy food at eye level makes healthy choices easier. Conversely, increasing friction—like keeping junk food out of the house—discourages unwanted habits.

5. Accountability Partnerships

   For Obligers and many others, having someone else aware of your goals can significantly boost your commitment. Rubin explains how accountability partners, coaching, or group challenges create social pressure that reinforces positive habits. This can be especially helpful for tasks you tend to procrastinate.

6. The Strategy of Treats

   Incorporating small, healthy 'treats' can reinforce good habits and keep burnout at bay. Rubin warns that treats shouldn't undermine your main goals but instead provide enjoyable boosts, like a favorite podcast during a workout. This strategy helps maintain motivation and makes persistence more pleasurable.

7. The 'Clean Slate' Strategy

   Rubin notes that life changes—like moving, starting new jobs, or even seasonal shifts—provide 'clean slates,' which are prime opportunities to establish new habits. Harnessing these moments lowers resistance to change and makes new routines easier to adopt.