Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher & William Ury

Summary

'Getting to Yes' by Roger Fisher and William Ury is a seminal guide to principled negotiation, detailing strategies for reaching mutually beneficial agreements without confrontation. The authors advocate separating people from the problem, focusing on interests rather than positions, generating options for mutual gain, and insisting on objective criteria. Through practical advice and real-world examples, the book provides a framework for effective negotiation in both professional and personal settings. Their approach, developed at the Harvard Negotiation Project, has influenced negotiators worldwide.

Life-Changing Lessons

1. Focus on interests, not positions: Understand underlying needs and motivations rather than getting stuck on rigid demands.

2. Separate the people from the problem: Address the substance of the negotiation while maintaining positive relationships and avoiding personal attacks.

3. Insist on using objective criteria: Base decisions on fair standards to avoid biased or arbitrary agreements.

Publishing year and rating

The book was published in: 1981

AI Rating (from 0 to 100): 95

Practical Examples

1. Orange dispute between two sisters

   A classic example from the book is about two sisters who both want the same orange. Initially, they argue to split the orange in half, but when they discuss their interests, one reveals she needs the peel for baking, and the other wants the juice. By focusing on interests rather than positions, they both get exactly what they want, illustrating the value of interest-based negotiation.

2. Negotiating salary with an employer

   Rather than asking for a specific salary figure, the book suggests exploring broader interests such as career growth, learning opportunities, or work-life balance. By brainstorming additional forms of compensation or job benefits, both parties can reach a more satisfying and creative agreement.

3. Landlord-tenant lease renewal

   Instead of haggling over the price, both landlord and tenant can discuss their interests—such as the landlord’s need for steady income and the tenant’s desire for stability. They might agree to a slightly lower rent in exchange for a longer lease term, benefiting both sides.

4. Divorcing parents deciding on child custody

   The book uses examples where parents, rather than fighting over 'taking turns' with their child, identify shared interests in the child’s well-being and stability. They collaboratively create a flexible custody arrangement that reflects those interests, avoiding adversarial positions.

5. Business contract negotiation

   When two companies negotiate a contract, Fisher and Ury suggest using objective criteria like industry standards or benchmarks for setting prices and terms. This reduces bias, builds trust, and leads to agreements based on fairness rather than power.

6. International peace talks

   The book examines diplomatic negotiations where parties have competing positions, but discovering mutual interests—such as security or economic prosperity—can break deadlocks. Identifying these shared interests allows otherwise adversarial nations to reach workable agreements.