On Living by Kerry Egan

Summary

'On Living' by Kerry Egan is a reflective and deeply moving account of her experiences as a hospice chaplain, sharing wisdom gleaned from those nearing the end of life. Through powerful stories, she explores themes of forgiveness, love, regret, and the importance of sharing one's story. The book challenges readers to contemplate what truly matters and invites us to embrace life more fully by learning from those who are dying. Egan's compassionate voice guides us toward self-acceptance and deeper connections.

Life-Changing Lessons

1. Forgiveness is essential for peace at the end of life and can radically transform relationships.

2. Telling your story and truly listening to others helps us heal and grow, fostering deeper connections.

3. Finding meaning in suffering is possible, and even in great pain, love and gratitude can flourish.

Publishing year and rating

The book was published in: 2016

AI Rating (from 0 to 100): 93

Practical Examples

1. A woman shares her painful family history

   Egan recounts how a patient revealed a heartbreaking story of family fragmentation and regret, showing the power of vulnerability and the healing effect of being truly listened to. By allowing her story to be heard, the woman began to find peace with her history, teaching Egan—and readers— that acknowledging our pain can lead to emotional resolution.

2. A man seeks forgiveness from his estranged daughter

   One patient, facing imminent death, expressed his last wish: to be forgiven by family members he had wronged. Egan worked with him on how to approach the conversation, and though not all wounds were healed, the act of seeking forgiveness itself provided him with a sense of release.

3. Witnessing the beauty in everyday moments

   Egan describes sitting with dying patients and discovering that even in the final chapters of life, ordinary activities—like sharing meals or watching birds from a window—can be profoundly meaningful. This example urges readers to seek joy in the present, no matter the circumstances.

4. Confronting regrets at the end of life

   Several patients confided in Egan about their major regrets, from careers they wish they'd chosen to relationships left unresolved. Egan explores how talking through these regrets helps people reframe their lives, find peace, and sometimes take action even at the last moment.

5. Expressing gratitude

   Egan shares stories about patients who, in the face of death, found space to be grateful—for caregivers, for family, for simple pleasures. Their gratitude often shifted the energy around them and allowed for more meaningful connections in the final days.

6. Finding spiritual meaning without religion

   Many patients Egan counseled were not religious, yet they still sought spiritual comfort and meaning. Egan adapted her chaplaincy to respect diverse beliefs, showing readers that spiritual comfort can be found outside traditional frameworks.

7. Healing through storytelling

   Egan repeatedly emphasizes how telling one's life story, even the painful chapters, facilitates healing. Patients who shared their stories often discovered new perspectives, validated their experiences, and felt valued, which enhanced their sense of peace.