Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy by Sheryl Sandberg & Adam Grant

Summary

Option B, co-written by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant, explores how individuals can navigate through tragedy and loss to rebuild stronger lives. Sandberg shares her personal experience of losing her husband and discusses the psychological and practical tools that aid resilience. The book blends personal anecdotes with research-backed strategies to foster recovery and joy amidst adversity. It is both a deeply empathetic memoir and a guidebook for anyone facing life's challenges.

Life-Changing Lessons

1. Resilience can be strengthened by how we interpret and respond to adversity, particularly by avoiding 'personalization,' 'pervasiveness,' and 'permanence' in our thinking.

2. Authentic support from friends and community is crucial; offering ‘presence’ and asking specific questions can help people feel less isolated during suffering.

3. Finding gratitude and moments of joy—even in hardship—can accelerate healing and help restore hope.

Publishing year and rating

The book was published in: 2017

AI Rating (from 0 to 100): 87

Practical Examples

1. The Three P’s Framework

   Sandberg discusses the psychological tendencies to see trauma as personal, pervasive, and permanent. By learning to separate the adversity from one’s identity, recognizing that problems aren’t everywhere, and accepting that pain is not forever, individuals can more effectively recover and thrive.

2. Asking 'How are you today?'

   Rather than asking general questions, Sandberg shares how friends and colleagues began asking her ‘How are you today?’ after her loss. This specific question allowed for an honest, moment-to-moment answer, normalizing bad days and making her feel less pressured to 'move on.'

3. Building Resilience in Children

   The book offers practical advice for helping children develop grit and resilience after hardship. For example, establishing routines, encouraging open communication, and framing setbacks as learning opportunities are highlighted as methods parents and educators can use.

4. The Power of Supportive Communities

   Sandberg emphasizes how communities—from close friends to support groups—can help individuals recover. She describes her experience with friends who filled logistical gaps in her daily life, such as caring for her children and handling tasks, allowing her to focus on healing.

5. Post-Traumatic Growth

   Adam Grant explains the idea of post-traumatic growth—the transformative positive changes that can occur after a major life setback. The authors include stories of people who found new purpose and meaning, even after immense loss or trauma, demonstrating ways to foster this growth.

6. Designing Workplaces for Compassion

   The book suggests practical changes companies can make to support grieving employees, such as flexible leave policies, supportive leadership, and encouraging colleagues to reach out. Sandberg describes her experience at Facebook and advocates for systemic empathy in the workplace.

7. ‘Kicking the Elephant Out of the Room’

   Instead of avoiding uncomfortable conversations, Sandberg urges people to acknowledge and discuss adversity directly. When others brought up her husband’s death, she felt less alone and more able to process her grief, illustrating the importance of not shying away from painful topics.

8. Keeping Routines after Loss

   Sandberg shares how maintaining familiar routines for her children after her husband’s death provided comfort and stability. Simple rituals, like bedtime stories, helped them regain a sense of normalcy in their disrupted lives.

9. Relying on Gratitude and Moments of Joy

   Sandberg learned to focus on small moments of gratitude and happiness even in the midst of sadness, such as appreciating supportive friends or enjoying time with her children. These moments helped her shift perspective and find strength to keep going.

10. Empowering Others to Help

    The authors stress the importance of asking for and accepting help from others, such as delegating tasks or sharing emotional burdens. Sandberg highlights how letting others contribute built stronger connections and eased her path to recovery.