Option B by Sheryl Sandberg & Adam Grant

Summary

Option B by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant explores the challenges of facing adversity and building resilience after experiencing profound loss. The book combines personal insights from Sandberg's life following her husband's unexpected death with research-based strategies provided by Grant, a psychologist. Together, they offer readers practical wisdom on recovering from setbacks, supporting others through trauma, and ultimately finding joy again. By sharing both intimate stories and scientific findings, they empower individuals to grow in the face of hardship and transform their own 'option B' into a fulfilling life.

Life-Changing Lessons

1. Resilience can be cultivated through deliberate practice and the right mindset, even in the wake of traumatic loss.

2. Building strong support networks is crucial for recovery; asking for and accepting help fosters healing.

3. Finding meaning after adversity is possible—it enables growth and can transform pain into purpose.

Publishing year and rating

The book was published in: 2017

AI Rating (from 0 to 100): 86

Practical Examples

1. Sheryl's Support System after Dave's Death

   After her husband suddenly died, Sheryl was overwhelmed by grief and uncertainty. She leaned on her close friends and family, who not only provided emotional support, but also tangible help with daily tasks like childcare. This illustrates the importance of accepting help and building a strong social network to help weather life's tragedies.

2. Three P's for Recovering from Setbacks

   Adam Grant introduces psychologist Martin Seligman's 'Three Ps' that can trap people after adversity: personalization (thinking we are at fault), pervasiveness (believing an event will affect all areas of life), and permanence (believing the effects will last forever). By recognizing and challenging these tendencies, individuals can develop resilience and move forward.

3. Gratitude as a Recovery Tool

   Sheryl discusses how, after her loss, she began practicing gratitude by acknowledging the small daily positives in her life. This shift in focus allowed her to gradually rebuild optimism and foster hope, demonstrating the transformative power of gratefulness in healing after trauma.

4. Resilience in Children

   The book tells stories of children who navigate loss and adversity by relying on routines, peer connections, and expressing emotions. Research cited explains how kids can develop lifelong coping skills when adults validate their feelings and provide consistent support. It highlights the generational importance of teaching resilience early.

5. Conversations at Work

   Sandberg gives examples of how colleagues can sensitively support someone going through loss by moving beyond awkward silence and expressing genuine concern and practical offers of help. Rather than saying 'Let me know if you need anything,' being specific about what you can do lessens the burden on the grieving person and strengthens workplace relationships.

6. Post-Traumatic Growth

   Throughout the book, the concept of 'post-traumatic growth' is explored through stories of individuals who achieve greater empathy, perspective, and purpose after surviving difficulties. By reframing trauma as an opportunity to learn and grow, Option B provides hope to readers facing their own struggles.

7. Journaling to Process Emotions

   Writing about one's feelings, as Sandberg describes, became a vital tool for her to process intense emotions following loss. Journaling helped her identify patterns in her grief and measure progress over time. This practice is recommended as a therapeutic outlet for anyone enduring hardship.

8. Creating Meaning Through Helping Others

   The book shares stories of people who, after adversity, found meaning by supporting others in crisis—from volunteering to starting support groups. Sandberg herself became active in advocating for bereaved spouses, illustrating how channeling pain into compassion can be deeply healing.

9. Flexible Work Policies

   Sandberg emphasizes the need for workplaces to support employees in crisis, including bereavement leave, flexible hours, and open communication about life challenges. She gives examples from her own company, demonstrating how thoughtful policies can foster loyalty and wellbeing.

10. Active Listening and Empathy

    The authors share stories of how simply being present and listening without judgment helps those in pain feel valued and understood. Practicing open-ended listening builds trust and enables deeper emotional recovery, both at home and in professional settings.