The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier

Summary

'The Coaching Habit' by Michael Bungay Stanier teaches managers and leaders how to be more effective by asking better questions instead of offering quick solutions. The book outlines seven powerful questions that encourage learning, growth, and self-sufficiency in others. With practical advice and memorable anecdotes, Stanier shows how coaching can become a daily habit that transforms workplace interactions. Through concise guidance and actionable tools, readers learn to break old habits and foster a more empowering leadership style.

Life-Changing Lessons

1. Asking more and telling less leads to deeper understanding and personal growth in others.

2. Adopting a coaching habit requires conscious effort to resist the urge to give advice immediately.

3. Simple, well-crafted questions can create space for honest conversations and unexpected solutions.

Publishing year and rating

The book was published in: 2016

AI Rating (from 0 to 100): 92

Practical Examples

1. The Kickstart Question: 'What's on your mind?'

   Instead of starting conversations with small talk or directives, Stanier suggests opening with this question. It helps surface the most pressing issue and shows genuine interest in the other person's concerns. This method encourages openness and quickly gets to important topics.

2. The AWE Question: 'And what else?'

   This deceptively simple question prompts deeper thinking and often elicits insights or issues that wouldn't surface otherwise. By continuously asking 'And what else?', managers can help team members dig past initial answers and discover root causes or additional opportunities.

3. The Focus Question: 'What's the real challenge here for you?'

   This question personalizes the problem by shifting attention from abstract discussions to the individual's specific difficulties. It prevents conversations from getting stuck in generalities and encourages ownership and clarity, which can lead to more effective problem solving.

4. The Foundation Question: 'What do you want?'

   Often, people are unclear about their own desires or priorities. By directly asking this, Stanier empowers individuals to articulate their true needs, helping both manager and employee align expectations and move forward constructively.

5. The Lazy Question: 'How can I help?'

   Rather than assuming or taking on responsibility unnecessarily, this question ensures that managers only step in where they're truly needed. It also invites employees to define the kind of support they want, fostering autonomy and more targeted assistance.

6. The Strategic Use of Silence

   In the book, Stanier describes how strategic silences after asking a powerful question often leads to deeper answers. Instead of filling awkward pauses, managers should wait and allow others time to process and respond thoughtfully.

7. Replacing Advice-Giving Habit

   Stanier stresses the importance of resisting the urge to immediately offer solutions. He suggests that managers should instead cultivate curiosity and form a habit of staying in the question-asking mode, which better supports team members' growth.

8. Building Coaching into Daily Routines

   The author recommends integrating one or two of the key questions into regular check-ins and conversations, making coaching an ongoing process rather than a formal, scheduled event. This shift turns everyday interactions into development opportunities.

9. Creating Accountability with the Learning Question: 'What was most useful for you?'

   Asking this at the end of conversations helps individuals reflect on takeaways and cements learning. It also gives managers feedback on their coaching impact and ensures meetings are impactful.

10. Testing Assumptions with the Foundation Question

    Using 'What do you want?' alongside other questions helps clarify goals and dispel misunderstandings. This technique is valuable for preventing misalignment and wasted effort resulting from unspoken, conflicting expectations.